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Search Results 0 to 5 of about 6 (some duplicates have been removed)
] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. big show tonight! oh, the actor paul have you had here. let me guess you made another (bleep) movie and it's really (bleep) good. give someone else a chance. anyway -- wait a minute -- where is my pen? [laughter] i specifically remember applying for a federal grant for a pen -- [laughter] -- where is my pen? it's official. >> the sequestration has arrived. >> $85 billion in automatic government spending cuts. >> jon: dammit! [laughter] the first penalty of the sequester, my federal pen program. fake thing. [ laughter ] the sequester is here. the arbitrary budget cuts that were so onus congress would never allow the sequester to take effect. remember? >> it was ugly. it was designed to be ugly. >> onerous and undesirable and it remains our view it's no way to go. >> no way it can happen. >> automatic triggers are set up to be so painful we don't have to get to that point. >> it will not happen. >> jon: of course it will n .t. democrats and republicans would have to be not to goat to this ball punch it's like dennis rodman in n
backstage to bring it back around. "admission" is in the theaters on the 22nd. it's paul rudd and tina fey. a+h [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> do a jedi mind bheld these folks. >> destroy captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by med >> stephen: tonight, a gitmo inmate faces trial. or has a birthday party. not sure, it was redacted. then, john kerry is the new secretary of state. or the pressure has really taken a toll on hillary clinton. [laughter] and my guest paola antonelli is a curator at the museum of modern art. i'll ask her to exit through the gift shop. [laughter] it's chuck hagel's first day as secretary of defense. tomorrow we start the two-month confirmation process for his second day of work. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, good to have you wit
Search Results 0 to 5 of about 6 (some duplicates have been removed)